10/16/2006

Just Because You're Paranoid....

Hello,
I see this spy planes nonsense has now spread to Merseyside. Some nosy MSP whose name escapes me has been trying to get them introduced in Glasgow for a while now. The idea involves 'drones' hovering about over 'crime blackspots' and recording the goings on. As a resident in one of Glasgow's top crime blackspots I would like to make it known that if these nosy machines are introduced here I shall moon at them.

Gadget freaks get on my wick. Just because the technology exists to make something possible doesn't make it a good idea. In any case CCTV hasn't been much of a deterrent. What has been fairly successful is the 'nite zone' initiative in Glasgow city centre which has cut violent crime by 13%. Could it be that people are less likely to commit a crime when there are a few police strolling about?

Obviously the 'spy planes' are cheaper than paying for extra police but I wonder if this is a false economy. If a police presence reduces the number of crimes being committed in the first place then surely the subsequent reduction in court and prison costs could be diverted to pay increased policing costs.

Moving on I see everyone is foaming at the mouth because Madonna has adopted a child. There has even been talk of legal action to prevent the adoption. Good God! Imagine growing up dirt poor only to find out that a load of do gooders put a stop to you being adopted by a multi-millionaire. You'd be furious. I realise I'm maybe not what she's after but I am willing to be adopted by Madonna or any other multi- millionaires that might be reading. As long as I don't have to hunt or go to boarding school I am certain we shall all get along famously.

Cheerio

10 comments:

iLL Man said...

Didn't the Digger cover this one? Shit! I thought it was a joke, or at least a bit of 'creative journalism'.

Bugger me..........

As for la Ciccone, I can sort of see why people are outraged (is the child a plaything or a whim etc?) but to be honest it does seem to be outrage for the sake of it. Anyway, I don't know enough about the story to comment further.

Fat Sparrow said...

Colored orphans are the new chihuahuas. I expect Paris Hilton to get one any day now.

Dr Maroon said...

That's all we need. Unmanned drones run out of petrol crashing down into Blackhill and Possil.
I can see the insurance claims already.

Fat Sparrow said...

"Only if she can get one small enough to stuff into her handbag. A premature one, perhaps ?"

You know they'll just charge more for the toy-size ones.

You'll notice how I refrained there from making a comment about the size of Madonna's and Paris Hilton's respective "handbags," as that would have been too obvious. See, I'm fucking classy, just like I keep telling everyone.

Clairwil said...

Illman,
The Digger have covered the planes thing. If only it were a joke.

Fat Sparrow,
I daresay you're right but they can afford to pay poor people to bring up their children when they get bored. I really don't see the harm in it. I'm mean this is Madonna we're talking about not Gary Glitter. I always said you were a class act.

Pam,
Bonsai babies!

Dr Maroon,
Bloody hell I hadn't thought of that. I'm already helping someone claim benefits after having a couch dropped on their head from a second floor window. The schemes of Glasgow are dangerous enough without planes dropping out the sky.

Fat Sparrow said...

"I daresay you're right but they can afford to pay poor people to bring up their children when they get bored. I really don't see the harm in it. I'm mean this is Madonna we're talking about not Gary Glitter. I always said you were a class act."

Yeah, when I win the Lottery, I am totally getting a nanny. At least for the diaper changing and bath parts. The Nestling Sparrow screams like you're putting him into a vat of acid when we try to bathe him. Thank God for wet wipes. Yup, I am definitely classy, all right.

Clairwil said...

Oh yes a nanny is a great idea. Plus if you're really rich you can threaten them with boarding school if they step out of line.

Fat Sparrow said...

You know, ever since reading "Harry Potter," the Fledgling Sparrow is under the impression that boarding schools are cool. Maybe military school, heheh.

Clairwil said...

Military School -now that is evil.

Anonymous said...

Aa few years ago, I was taken round a nursery where I was going to send my daughter; they had a shower cubicle set at adult waist-height, where irredeemably filthy children could be placed & then hosed down from a distance. Brilliant idea.