I was planning to be a bit of a crimefighter and use the power of my blog to catch 'The Defecator'. However I'm happy to report that he has been apprehended. His reign of terror is at an end. So I've no option but to go a bit tabloid. I'll offer a big prize for any information on our train hating chum. Who is he? Why? What have the trains ever done to him? Is it a fetish? Is he a mental? What the bloody hell is going on? Are you a victim? An arresting officer? Eh? Do you shit on trains? Why?