On one of my sillier whims I bought an eighties compilation album at a bargain price in Tesco this evening. It's very jolly, though I feel The Smiths, U2, Echo and The Bunnymen, Madonna and several others have been unfairly overlooked. Nevertheless I have punched the air to Huey Lewis and The News, wiggled my buttocks to Dead or Alive and wept with joy at Wham.
As ever there is a turd in the punchbowl. Genesis and the like are helpfully positioned first to make them easy to skip, no such luck with this dreadful joy vacuum. Why in the name of Christ did Bruce Hornsby and his so called range have to be born? 'That's just the way it is but you don't believe them', that's how this terrifying dirge goes. There's something smelly about it, you just know Bruce loves a hefty tax break but wants to look like a nice guy by emoting at the jobless and downtrodden. I don't believe in him. Let us continue to ignore him in the hope he stays away.
Compare and contrast the above with the unbridled joy that is Wham's Wham Rap. It's fantastic, though their portrayal of life on the dole is wide of the mark. Believe me I've tried it. I started out signing on in a tiara to annoy the civil service bastards, by the time I signed off they'd broken me. Independent wealth or an allowance is the key. To leave the personal and return to the joy that is Wham Rap. Yes it's kitsch, it hasn't aged well, but to 'get' it you need to go beyond that and look at it's spirit. Indulge me as I quote some lyrics;
'I ain't never gonna work,
get down in the dirt
I choose, to cruise
Gonna live my life,
sharp as a knife
I've found my groove and I just can't lose
I'm style from head to toe
Cool cat flash gonna let you know
I'm a soul boy - I'm a dole boy
-Take pleasure in leisure,
I believe in joy!'
'WHAM! BAM! I AM! A MAN!
JOB OR NO JOB
YOU CAN'T TELL ME THAT I'M NOT
DO!YOU!ENJOY WHAT YOU DO?
IF NOTJUST STOP!
DON'T STAY THERE AND ROT!'
Isn't that what we all aspire to? Why trudge to work on a rainy Monday morning? Wham Rap in all it's naffness brings joy, presents a beautiful lifestyle and makes me grin like a loon. That in my book is quality. Couple Wham Rap with Club Tropicana and you have a vision of Utopia, which is where I will be residing for the next week or so. Do join me the water is lovely.