I'm so tired.

Having overdone the sauce a bit last night I'm taking things easy. So no quiz results because frankly I cannot be arsed just now. I'll wallop them up at some stage.

One of the many irritating things about the smoking ban is the people standing outside the pub downstairs smoking. Or to be more accurate a particular group of men that stand about harassing every female that walks past. They are like a lecherous Taliban, only drunker. What is their objection to unaccompanied women walking along the street? How I long for their wives to appear and slap them all with a saucepan. I cannot even put rubbish in the bin unmolested. One often wonders how these men would react if a large group of homosexuals hung about on the street making loud comments about their arses. I have my doubts as to whether they'd be as reasonable as I have been about the whole thing. Mind you I have my suspicions about the vocal lecher. Why are they so keen that everyone knows that they're eyeing up women? What's wrong with a sneaky glance or two? What are they trying to prove?

I have been putting up with this crap since I was ten, can anyone enlighten me as to when it stops?


Dr Maroon said...


Are you going to the party?
Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?

Redcoats in the village
There's fighting in the streets
The Indians and the
mountain men, well
They are talking when they meet
The king has said he's gonna put a tax on tea
And that's the reason you all Americans drink coffee

Are you going to the party?
Are you going to the Boston Tea Party?

Clairwil said...

Cheers Doctor!
There's a party over at Cape To Rio all weekend and better still we're all invited. I've hit the wine already.

Fat Sparrow said...

"I have been putting up with this crap since I was ten, can anyone enlighten me as to when it stops?"

It doesn't. No matter how old, how ugly, or how decrepit you get, there will always be some guy trying it on. That being said, there's no reason why you shouldn't have a bit of fun.

Just tell them you appreciate all the compliments, since you weren't sure how the sex change operation would turn out. Nice to see that they thought you were a real woman, and all that.

Or, you can start chatting them up, and casually mention how difficult it's been for you to get a date since you got diagnosed with "your problem." Try and manage a few unobtrusive scratches "down under" while you're talking with them. Work your way up to really getting stuck in there and having a good root around. Keep edging closer. Try to get them to shake hands with you when you take your leave.

Or, pretend you have Tourette's, along with a drooling problem. Make sure to go over and talk to them each and every time you go outside. Bonus points if you can fling strands of spittle while randomly cursing. Try and give them all a "goodbye" peck on the cheek when you leave.

It's a lot of work, and they're sure to talk about you afterwards, but they'll probably leave you alone.

Pisces Iscariot said...

I sometimes think that that lecherous group mentality among men is an attempt to assert how un-homosexual they are. A sure case of 'Methinks the lady...etc'

Clairwil said...

Great suggestions Fat Sparrow, I think I'll give them ago or just stand there rocking slightly before pissing myself.

I think you're right. I'm certain they're trying to deny something.

Lara said...

She does have Tourettes - I have the email to prove it-and is up herself. Another glowing attribute.In fact you actually write a lot about how great you are.
Isn't that the very thing you slag off Leah Darbyshire about except it really happens to her.You suffer from delusions.

Clairwil said...

Tee hee!

Is there a post you and your idiot mother haven't commented on left on this blog. What is the cause of your obsession with me? Where is father Bobrucki in all this? I thought grandstanding to get the boys running was the Bobrucki women's way.

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