Sorry for the lack of activity but I've been trying to do some homework for my writing class. Being an essentially self indulgent character I find it very hard to write about things that do not hold any interest for me, in this case the topic is family. In fairness I have managed to write 'I wish they'd shut up' on a bit of paper but the piece is intended to be 300 words long.
You will also be astonished to learn that I hate most of my classmates. Honestly they're either like over confident Big Brother contestants (thick and trendy) or menopausal showboats. What is it with ladies of a certain age and their competitive approach to evening classes? Any time I sign up for one of these things there are at least two old bats banging on about how many classes they attend and how wonderful they are. I long to turn round and and say 'all well and good mummy but my vagina is tighter, my arse is smaller, your children hate you and you'll be dead before I am'. Obviously I don't, because that would be rude but it is only a matter of time before I'm pushed too far.
If I'm honest I think I'm just jealous of their confidence. Try as I might I can't seem to summon up the courage to bang on about how marvellous I am. I don't know why, as all modesty does is allow loud mouthed idiots to hog the spotlight whilst I sit there thinking 'why does no-one tell them to shut up? Is everyone mad?'. In my experience it is boasting and pushiness that help one get on in life, not talent.
Right I'm off to raid my parents fridge and play with the cat.
P.S I am having something of an early thirties crisis. It was quite sudden but I realised that my life is in fact pointless. Can any of you wise old owls give me any tips on getting over this and making the best of things?