5/31/2006

Chatting To God

Hello,
Good God! For the love of God! Jesus Christ! I say is that the Lord's name I see, let me me take it in vain. I'm sure some of you may have noticed I appeal to the Almighty on a regular basis. In my defence my family are far worse and as the old cock crows the young one learns. Anyway I've been the same since I was a small child and not once have I received any sort of response real or imagined.

Other people don't seem to have this problem. I remember sitting in my back garden one summer when the neighbour's window opened and some woman shouted the assembled children in to talk to Jesus. I was astonished to say the the least. Why Jesus didn't just come outside and talk to everyone I cannot say. The children answered the call and reappeared half an hour later as if nothing out of the ordinary had happened. I have to say the children were evasive about what had been discussed or the means by which this miracle had been performed, so much so that I'm afraid to say I had my doubts about what had taken place.

Until today that is. I was minding my own business when out of nowhere appeared to very jolly women who wanted to tell me about Jesus. They reckon that you just ask Jesus for help and he gives it just like that! Apparently Jesus is very sad at the moment about the Iraq war, The Da Vinci Code and abortion but is powerless to intervene because God (his dad) gave us all free will. I have to say I was impressed in all my Jesus and Godding I have never once obtained any single piece of information. Not so much as a 'later I'm busy'.

Am I the only person being ignored in this very disheartening fashion? Do any of you have any chatting to God stories? Has God ever said anything funny/moving/inspirational to you? If so how do you do it?

9 comments:

margin walker said...

God is always unhappy. If he was happy, then we would have no one to pray to...

Pisces Iscariot said...

In some places you will be locked away and fed very strong medicine for talking to imaginary beings.

ill man said...

I don't think i've ever got round to asking anything of the old boy. I'd end up asking for something silly and pissing him off probably.

Interesting comment from Margin Walker............

Billy said...

Ever since I was young, I've imagined God looking rather like Ron Moody in Oliver!, however talking to him I imagine being quite annoying. He'd probably talk in riddles all the time and never explain anything.

Aine said...

See now, I tend to talk to the Goddess, which is pretty much the same thing except she listens properly...

alan said...

Bono talks to God. You could ask him what He says. Or have I got that wrong? Maybe Bono is God? Sorry, I don't think I should have embarked on this comment in the first place ...

Clairwil said...

Ah all this talking to God and the Goddess is all very well but do you get answers?

Alan,
not sure if Bono is God. I knew someone that met him once and they reckoned he seemed pretty scared of them in the end. Though to be fair if I was getting out my car and two chaps approached me and said 'carry on we are merely observing' I'd be a bit unsettled.

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