Evening Punters!

As you are aware I am suffering from bloggers block or at least I was until the mysterious David appeared in my box. Here is what he said.....

'well, the 8 inches of snow in Glasgow; the falling down scottish parliament - the massive fuss - and the massive cost of housing them elsewhere; the fingerprint case that needs a public enquiry but because the numpties in holyrood voted on party lines now won't; do we really need £7m spent on a National Theatre of Scotland? Don't we have enough already? Or if you want something more cerebral - the vicar who cannot forgive the tube bombers. Or you could just tell us about the busses in Glasgow.'

For no other reason than that I have sentimental attachment to the name David I shall attempt to tackle some of the issues he raises. Firstly I shall explain my attachment to the name David. Many years ago when I was young and frisky I had four boyfriends all at once- The two reasonable ones who knew about each other were both called David and were wonderfully tolerant about the whole thing. The others would not have been quite as understanding being of low intelligence and frankly a bit up themselves. The whole situation came to a head for me when they all turned up at the Strathclyde union at once. The two Davids were very obliging and sat at the same table hooting at my efforts to keep the others in separate bars. It was when I developed a stitch racing between the Mandela Bar, The Barony and Level Eight, that I realised that being charming is exhausting and that four men is at least two too many. Mind you when a boy called Stephen asked me out that night I said yes. The important lesson we should draw from the whole experience is, make hay while the sun shines. Oh yes and never consent to Rangers end sex on a first date- your arse will never be your own again. I was and remain a martyr to my buttocks.

Anyway now all the personal stuff is out the way I shall make remarks on David's suggested topics.

Snow- Snow rocks. I love it, anyone who doesn't has forgotten what it is like to be a child and that is tragic.

The Scottish Parliament falling down- An appalling structure, poorly located, utterly devoid of grandeur, beauty and inspiration. It should be preserved as a monument to the Scottish Labour establishment's complete contempt for the electorate. If I were in charge, that ridiculous statue of Dewar would be melted down to make the missing bolt. The whole lot would be flogged off for housing and rebuilt elsewhere funded by MSPs contributions. Once they'd given us the kitty I would bring in a law whereby all MSPs salaries are set at the constituency average as an incentive for them to actually do something for the people they claim to represent.

The Fingerprints business- A public enquiry is now essential. How can anyone have faith in the justice system otherwise? If fingerprint evidence can show a false positive due to 'an honest mistake' , can any jury convict on this basis? The whole thing stinks.

£7 million on the National Theatre- Not sure. On the basis of their opening they seem to have made a genuine attempt to bring theatre into communities, whether that will be of lasting value or not. I'm reserving judgement.

The vicar who cannot forgive- I may return to this on another post........



Binty McShae said...

Theatre has an important place in community... whether that amount should be spent on a fixed address is another matter. Perhaps investing more into the companies that tour remote areas would be a more appropriate use of at least part of the money.

Paul B said...

'Rangers end sex' (a wonderful expression, by the way, and one I'd never heard before), or in fact all sex also has a very important place in community.

I say throw £7m at community sex improvement classes and wait to see the benefits. Everyone would certainly feel a lot better and stop whinging about the minor quibbles of life, like the Iraq war or the impending worldwide economic meltdown.

David Duff said...

How right you are, there is something special about a 'David', I always think. But then I would, wouldn't I?

N.I.B. said...

Well yes, a lot of people seem to think you're a bit 'special', David, that much is true.

(sorry, couldn't resist)

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