It's not often I feel compelled to blog about the weather but I'm pig sick of cloud. For the last day or so the sky has been about a foot off the ground and you almost feel you have to crawl to avoid being engulfed by slate grey cloud.
As the above picture of buds and blossom clearly demonstrates- spring is here! Yet we have only had about 30 seconds daylight, the rest being obscured by sodding cloud. It's most upsetting.
On a happier note I braved the cloud yesterday and had a stroll round Glasgow Green where I was entertained by a gaggle of geese. I'm scared of geese as anyone with an ounce of sense ought to be, however I lurked on a bridge whilst they ran about honking at ducks and fighting each other on the river bank. A safe distance- that's the key to goose appreciation. I've never been quite sure of what it is geese do when they catch you. I'm told swans break men's arms though I must confess total ignorance as to what they do to women. If it's sufficiently nasty I might throw a couple into my work lock the door and run. Only as a prank you understand- I am a being incapable of malice.
As some of you may be aware it is my birthday next week which means money in envelopes from my more well trained relatives, naturally there is the odd anarchist who insists on surprising me by giving something or other lavender scented or a vast bra, however I should end up with a bit of spare cash. Normally I spend it all on drink and fripperies but as I get older my thoughts turn more towards the future. I'm tired of being penniless the week before payday and being too frightened to open my mail, I want financial stability. To that end I have decided to approach Tony Blair to see what £100 gets me, failing that I might just buy some bits of chrystal and tell that ludicrous letterbox he's married to that they're 'magic' and flog her the lot for £1000. Bribery v dishonest entrepreneurship- what should I do?