The Confessions Of Clairwil
It is with great regret that I must start this post with a shameful confession. I have become obsessed with right-wing Americans. Over the last week I have been staring morbidly at Republican Christian blogs. I don't know why. It's definitely not sexual. I don't even half agree with them. I suspect they act as a modern substitute for the Victorian freak show, for me anyway.
Anyhow, the remarkable individual who rules My Republican Blog has written a truly astonishing piece of political poetry which I'd like to share with you all.
A MESSAGE FROM THE LEFT
If you want to live in sin, it's okay
And if you want to throw your baby away
Before it's born, then go ahead
Make sure that little life form's dead
But don't you dare say "God" in school
Or pray out loud; it's just not cool
And don't ever wear a Christian Cross
Or by God, we'll show you whose boss!
Don't say "Merry Christmas" anymore,
It's "Happy Holidays" for evermore!
Nativity scenes are extremely offensive.
Why are you people so defensive?
We know what's best for you; can't you see
that if you trust in us you will be free
To have sex with anyone any time you choose
Without any morals, what's to lose?
Why choose to live with rules and regulations?
And offend us with Christian celebrations?
Keep your "God" in church where he belongs
Leave us to right the people's wrongs
You're too ignorant to know what's right
It's useless to resist so why bother to fight?
We will care for you; we will make you see
Only socialism will repair your stupidity!
We are working hard to straighten you out.
That we will succeed we have no doubt.
Even when we lose we manage to win,
'Cause the average person just loves to sin.
Other than stating the obvious, that the above is a truly terrible piece of poetry. It's hard to know what to say really. It rhymes, which I suppose is quite nice. However, as a wicked lefty I can state with some certainty that I have never been offended by any Christian celebrations, with the exception of the ones I was forced to take part in at school. I wouldn't wish a Protestant service on my worst enemy. I've never been offended by Christian crosses either, though I prefer the crucifix- there is a certain sadistic beauty to it. I enjoy a good read at the Bible and consider it one the greatest books ever written, I just don't believe a word of it. Anyway our Republican chum has also written a poem about atheists. Sadly it didn't convince me of God's existence, in fact reading her poem made left me doubting the possibility of intelligent life on earth.
Is it any wonder I drink?