Can We Have a Revolvution Please?

I recently made the dreadful error of chatting to a primary teacher. It's not that she wasn't pleasant she was lovely, mumsy, enthusiastic and just the sort of person you'd want to leave your seedlings with. However I'm afraid she was the bearer of bad news and with hindsight I think I might have come close to shooting the messenger on a few occasions.

As always when confronted with a member of the teaching profession I quiz them as to why even otherwise intelligent folk are leaving school illiterate. I did expect her to get all defensive so that I could torture her but was surprised to note she entirely agreed with me. Like I say obviously the sort of person you'd want in charge of your kids. No sniggering at the back I get along very well with our short friends once they pass the dribbling stage. At heart I am a five year old with a cocaine habit.

Anyway my teaching chum informs me that at least twenty minutes of valuable teaching time are lost each day because the teacher has to supervise the children brushing their teeth after lunch. It is just as well I am not a parent because I would most likely tear up to the school and accuse the teacher of being a nonce for such an act. Then it would be explained to me that they are only following orders and I'd feel like a crumb. Apparently in order to tackle the admittedly appalling dental record in the west of Scotland it has been decided that all children should be forced to brush their teeth once a day in school.

I've no objection to folk brushing their teeth but this is either social crisis management on the cheap or a waste of time. If we are in fact sending children out of school to homes where no-one cares whether or not they clean their teeth, then we are sending them home to unfit parents. In which case tooth decay is merely a symptom of a much deeper problem. As far as I can make out nothing much is being done to tackle that. Would it not be more productive to let teachers give the young things the best possible education, which would endow them with the means to escape their deprived circumstances? If a bit of dental health education is required then give the parents and children dental advice via after school clubs or special one off lessons. Schools are there to educate folk not wet nurse them and if there really is a problem then isn't that we pay social services for?

As if all that wasn't bad enough from August yet more classroom time is to be wasted giving children in primary one, sex education. The theory behind this is that if the kiddiewinks know the facts of life from age five then by the time they get to their teens they won't be all that excited by sex. Which rather overlooks hormones, nature, curiosity and the decent teenager's innate irresponsibility -none of which can be educated out of existence.

In addition to the bare bones of the mating racket, the kiddiewinks have to be treated to education on same sex relationships. Lord knows why. I managed to have sex with a woman at fifteen without any pointers on lesbian sex from my teachers. If I do say so myself it was one of my better performances. Mind you if the teachers had supplied us with lube, toys and a decent porno it might have been better but I doubt it. Cheers Aliesha! I made my heterosexual debut at the same age without making any real errors, though if I had my time over again I'd have removed my bra and locked the bathroom door. The scandal I caused has I am certain gone down in Shawlands legend, which is outrageous. All I did was sit on the cistern with my legs akimbo it was the chap that did all the work and yet no-one called him a slag. No sex education in the world can prepare you for that sort of injustice.

I should stress if you haven't guessed already I have no moral objection to sex education. I just don't see the point. Teach folk to read, write, do maths and be responsible for their actions -the rest will follow.



ZinZin said...

Too much information!

iLL Man said...

Better too much info than too little I say.

The tooth brushing thing is a bit like sticking a finger in the dyke. Obviously aimed at getting kids who never brush to do it at least once a day. The problem is that once a day is fuck all use. I mean, the void between those who brush and those who don't is still there. On top of that, too much brushing can fuck yr gums can it not?

Yr right, it's a parental responsibility and the exercise seems just a little pointless.

iLL Man said...

One more thing. Since when did a teacher supervising children brushing their teeth take on 'nonce alert' status?

Lt Columbo.

Anonymous said...

If only people had the same level of concern for standards of literacy and numeracy as they do for teeth.

Let us face facts - In some schools teaching is no longer about educating, it is quite simply a form of social work.

In the past teachers were always considered to be in loco parentis but I don't think anybody - not even the Victorians - ever had this in mind!

Anonymous said...

香港女星寫真,a片分享,美女色情裸體,台灣kiss情色貼圖,美腿圖,正妹,日本情色網,情色卡通下載,免費下載的做愛照片,線上a片免費看,tube影片,情色成人,ro 私服論壇,色情網,aaa片免費看短片分享區,日本人妻熟女自拍貼圖,蕃薯論壇,台灣網友自拍貼照,嘟嘟成人網,狂插漂亮美眉,8591論壇,女同志聊天室,人妻俱樂部網站,背包客棧論壇,成人性感內衣,看美女脫光光,黑澀會美眉無名,色咪咪貼影片,無碼a片,aa片免費看,免費線上觀看a片,做愛的圖片,色情漫畫,性感卡通美女圖片,香港a片,自拍,情色圖書館,plus 28 論壇,1007視訊,熟女自拍照,苗栗人聊天室,黑澀會美眉即時通,jp成人,色情,aaaaa片俱樂部,情侶歡愉用品,

okav成人影院,網友裸體自拍,交友ukiss,娘家影片,a片免費,黑澀會美眉即時通,人妻性交俱樂部,聊天室尋夢園,18禁,情色性感美女圖片,美女短片免費試看,3級女星寫真,情色短片論壇,摯愛中年聊天室,美腿貼圖,影音聊天,聊天室找一夜,g世代論壇,免費線上影片,淫蕩少女,火辣美眉自拍寫真貼圖,內衣寫真秀,美少女自拍,aa片免費看影片,麗的情色,gogo2sex,aooyy 成人玩具,台灣成人網,素人自拍,

Anonymous said...

sogo情色網,小魔女免費影片,9k躺伯虎聊天室,只有貼圖區,網路美女,a片小遊戲,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊交友90739,免費色情影片,星光情色討論版,18禁地戀愛遊戲,廁所偷拍,18禁,台灣kiss情色文學,線上看,飯島愛影片觀看,免費線上影片,美腿論壇,聊天室找一夜,情色自拍,影音日誌,自拍片,寫真女郎攝影網,網愛聊天室,情色文學網,av女優dvd,dudu 嘟嘟貼圖區,比基尼辣妹影片,視訊聊天室,自拍照片,成人論壇,模特兒寫真,a片dvd,情色偷拍,美女遊戲,666 貼圖區,成人短片,線上觀看a片,免費a片線上看,080 聊天室,情色交友,女生自衛影片,男男貼圖區,免費線上觀看a片,模特兒,家庭教師影片,情色貼片,美女貼圖片區,免費aa片試看,成人貼圖區,網際論壇,

線上直播a片,免費a圖a片,080 聊天室,av視訊,情色交友,模特兒,自拍影片,真實自拍,嘟嘟情色,視訊,免費視訊聊天室,壞朋友論壇fliendo,成人a片,美女交友,383v live實境影音秀,嘟嘟貼圖,花王自拍,飯島愛寫真集,微風寫真網,忘年之交聊天室,爽翻天成人用品,正妹百人斬,383影音live秀,美女做愛,天天情色,免費視訊聊天室,vlog電眼美女,聊天室080,情色貼片,無碼女優,showlive影音聊天網,日本女優,都都成人站,視訊會議,080 苗栗人聊天室,洪爺情色網,北部人聊天室,一葉晴貼圖區,色遊戲,同志影片,aaaa片俱樂部,免費影片線上直播,ut男同志聊天室,貼影片,免費a片下載,歐美模特兒寫真,百分百成人圖片,ut 女同聊天室,夫妻自拍,