2/03/2007

I Can Heal The Sick

Hello,
Until I read this I thought I'd never be amazed at the outlandish claims made by a politician again, you know the type of thing I mean, the NHS is having it's best year ever and so on.

Anyway it would appear that President Yahya Jammeh of Gambia is something of a one man health service. Believe me I really wish I was making this up but I'm not. He reckons that he can cure HIV, AIDS, asthma using secret herbs. To be fair I have no proof that he can't. I may be doing the man a huge disservice, though I suspect if the big pharmaceutical companies believed he had discovered such an inexpensive cure, they would shoot him, patent the secret herbs and flog them at an enormous profit.

I have to say I've always been half expecting Tony Blair to make an outrageous claim of that nature. There's just something about him, like he's tried to walk on water down the public baths when he thinks no-one's looking. Perhaps he's waiting until he's in the witness box before demonstrating his magic powers. Not that I am for a second implying that these magic powers would extend to anything as underhand as convenient memory loss or disappearing evidence.

Can you imagine Blair in court, the halting delivery, the wounded expression? Oh go on, it'd make a stone laugh. If I were the judge I'd take a firm line with the blighter. Allowing him to do his 'pausing' trick will only lead to the trial lasting for decades. Think of the expense! Incidentally does anyone know what that pausing thing is meant to achieve? To me it looks like the signals between his mouth and his brain keep getting interrupted. Faulty wiring of some sort I expect.

Later I may post a tale of mayhem in a pie factory. I'm not making that up either.

Cheerio

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

re: the pausing thing...

He's carefully considering and weighing his words in the knowledge that their gravity and wisdom will ring down through the ages.

It's either that or he's got gas.

flyingrodent said...

I heard about this, but then I also heard that scientists have hypothesised that it's possible to catch the HIV virus from mosquitoes.

I hate to say this, but I advise that we all refrain from having bestial sex with insects for the time being.

Better safe than sorry, after all.