1/25/2006

Burns Night


Fair fa' your honest, sonsie face,
Great chieftain o the puddin'-race!
Aboon them a' ye tak your place,
Painch, tripe, or thairm:
Weel are ye worthy o' a grace
As lang's my arm.


The groaning trencher
there ye fill,
Your hurdies like a distant hill,
Your pin wad help to mend a mill
In time o need,
While thro your pores the dews distil
Like amber bead.


His knife see rustic Labour dight,
An cut you up wi ready slight,
Trenching your gushing entrails bright,
Like onie ditch;
And then, O what a glorious sight,
Warm-reekin, rich!



Then, horn for horn, they stretch an strive:
Deil tak the hindmost, on they drive,
Till a' their weel-swall'd kytes belyve
Are bent like drums;
The auld Guidman, maist like to rive,
'Bethankit' hums.



Is there that owre his French ragout,
Or olio that wad staw a sow,
Or fricassee wad mak her spew
Wi perfect scunner,
Looks down wi sneering, scornfu view
On sic a dinner?


Poor devil! see him owre his trash,
As feckless as a wither'd rash,
His spindle shank a guid whip-lash,
His nieve a nit;
Thro bloody flood or field to dash,
O how unfit!


But mark the Rustic, haggis-fed,
The trembling earth resounds his tread,
Clap in his walie nieve a blade,
He'll make it whissle;An legs an arms,
an heads will sned,
Like taps o thrissle.


Ye Pow'rs, wha mak mankind your care,
And dish them out their bill o fare,
Auld Scotland wants nae skinking ware
That jaups in luggies:
But, if ye wish her gratefu prayer,
Gie her a Haggis



This evening I will be sitting down to Mac Sween vegetarian haggis with tatties and absolutely no neeps. I hate neeps.

6 comments:

iLL Man said...

Enjoy your Haggis Clairwil.

Head Apollo said...

When I was a vegetarian, back when I had scruples, I used to eat those. They're better than you would think. And I agree with you about the neeps.

creepylesbo said...

I had a veggie haggis the other day and was surprised how nice it was. I've never tasted real haggis though. I get tatties but have no idea what neeps are unless they are parsnips. This proves I am a bit too Southern. I only like parsnips when roasted.

Clairwil said...

Cheers everyone,

sorry creepylesbo 'neeps' are turnips.

alan said...

i love neeps!

Clairwil said...

The only good thing about neeps is the name. They're an abomination and they've got thread in them.