10/27/2005

An Ordeal

Hello,

Sorry about the lack of blog activity but I've been through a fucking ordeal and my nerves lie in tatters. Yesterday I was in my outreach office at work minding my own business, when a man appeared. I, not unreasonably, assumed he was a client and invited him to sit down. What followed was bizarre to say the least. The man started by telling me he was lonely, so I made a few sympathetic noises, which prompted him to explain that he was hoping to start a family as soon as possible and ask if I would marry him.

No one has ever proposed to me before, so unsure of the etiquette in such a situation I started laughing. He then asked me why I was laughing and asked me if I didn't like his face. I explained that I had no ill feelings for his face at all but that I was not used to such proposals from complete strangers. What followed were forty five minutes of increasingly ludicrous compliments and begging. Apparently, it is this mans dream to marry a white woman and I was ruining it for him. I pointed out that there were a fair few white women knocking about the place but he remained undeterred. At one stage I froze in total horror as he announced that my problem was that I'd overlooked the chief advantage of marrying a black man. Mercifully he wasn't trying to use racial stereotyping to his advantage but was pointing out that mixed race children tend to be quite attractive and that he could assist me have as many as I liked. Eventually he left, stating that he could no longer trust himself to be alone with me.

I'm no expert on seduction but I can't help thinking he might want to tone his act down a bit. If I were him I'd try taking a girl out a few times and buy her a couple of drinks or a few nice meals before broaching such matters.

Cheerio

6 comments:

iLL Man said...

Oh dear. I fear he may end up beaten to a pulp by some knuckle dragging vigilante mob if he tries that too often. I'm assuming he has absolutely no idea how alarming his behaviour was.

Clairwil said...

No I don't think he did, he seemed perfectly relaxed about the whole thing. Apparently he used to work in sales but I'm not convinced sales techniques are an effective seduction tool. Mind you after half an hour of this nonsense I was on the verge of agreeing, in order to shut him up. Maybe he's on to something after all.

iLL Man said...

Must try it myself sometime...........

"But I can give you babies!!!!!"

Yeah, think he's onto something with that.

alan said...

You might have been a bit hasty. Were his prospects good?

Clairwil said...

I don't know what his prospects were like but I suspected his intentions were not honorable.

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