10/28/2005

Irritating Work Colleague.

Hello,

ne,ne,ne,ne,ne,ne,ne,ne,ne,ne. boom titty boom, yah, yah ,yah, aye,eye,aye,eye,hee,hee,hee, tss tss tss, bany, bany,bany, tss tss, aye,aye,ne,ne. deee, dee, dee,doo,doo, gag,gah,wo,woo.

I freely admit I have no talent for onomatopoeia. The above, in it's own inarticulate way gives you an idea what I was subjected to in work today. Yes, your favourite and mine, irritating work colleague has struck again. He sat in my office making noises and trying to talk to me all day in between phoning up pensioners, gaining their trust, before raping them on home visits. It'll all come out, you mark my words. In fact you'll get the drift of his lunacy in the third dialogue.

Today, the filthy granny molesting beast announced that he hoped he would get me in the 'Secret Santa' draw so that he could buy me a sense of humour. Apparently I don't have one. This is because I rarely laugh at his jokes. This is because they are not funny. I will give you a selection of low lights below.

Dialogue One

Wanker- Eating again?
Me(eating toast)- '............'
Wanker- Stuffing your face again?
Me(on the second slice)-'........'
Wanker- All you need to lose weight is beer and pizza.
Me(still munching toast)-'............'
Wanker(walking off)- hnn, hnn bitch, ha,ha, hnn hmm.

Dialogue Two

Wanker- Getting some fresh air?
Me(smoking a fag)- '.........'
Wanker- Getting some fresh air?
Me (still smoking)-'........'
Wanker-Getting some fresh air?
Me(still smoking)-'.........'
Wanker-Getting some fresh air?
Me(nearly at the filter)-'..............'
Wanker- Ahhhh, you're all getting banned next year. Hnn, hnnHmmm,hnnn,hnn
Me(walking away)-'............'
Wanker(following)- Ha, Ha, ha! You won't be allowed to smoke next year. hnn, that's,hnnn,ha.
Me- ' ............'






Dialogue Three (about irritating work colleague)

Me- Oh God, I'm sorry. You're right, you should never have been subjected to that type of questioning.
Client- I'm glad I got a lassie today, Wanker just kept asking about my sex life.
Me- Would you like to make a complaint?
Client-Yes.

Ha fucking Ha! When that complaint comes in, pervert is getting his cards. See, I have got a sense of humour, even complaints make me laugh and laugh.

Cheerio

1 comment:

iLL Man said...

Strictly speaking, the first two are monologues. I suppose in his head thats what passes for conversation.............